(no subject)

We tried out the Antiochian Mission Church today. I have hope that this could be a really good thing, but I'm trying not to get excited yet. I had another anxiety attack right before we got there complete with rapid breathing, all over shaking, and terrible nausea. Brad was a little worried I think. I tried to play it off, but it was hard to hide. I had another one start right before we took the girl's up for Communion, but it wasn't as bad and I managed to get away with just some shakiness.

It was an interesting mix of people. About half Arabic people with very thick accents (some of whom didn't speak any English) and half converts. Very friendly. Very comfortable atmosphere. I could see myself singing with the little choir/chanters group. I could never picture that at the other church. Anyway, it feels like a move in the right direction. Even found a woman who is homeschooling her boys (but they are a LOT older than my girls) and others that look favorably on homeschooling. So that is good. Several little families with young children. Another good. And they were anxious for us to come back (nothing like a little mission trying to get off the ground to make you feel needed! Ha!)


Zoe's pacifier went away today. Lord, have mercy.
Please pray for her if you can.

(no subject)

So far, so good. Zoe cried three or four times today, kind of out of the blue, because her paci is gone. But between times she was very, very cheerful. We were all set for terrible tantrums at bedtime, but none materialized. She did cry, but when she was told she could *start* the night in bed with mommy and daddy, she perked right up. Daddy is in bed with her right now, she is clutching her RudOlph action figure (the present Daddy bought her to help her over the loss of paci, he ordered it weeks ago in preparation for this), quiet and peaceful. I don't know if she is asleep though. I haven't gone up to check. I just haven't heard any crying at all. I'm prepared for some in the middle of the night when she isn't quite awake and searches for it. But, all in all, I'm impressed with her handling of it. Brad did tell me, when I went up to check on the other girls and peeked in on Zoe and him, that she had told him "This is so hard, Daddy!" Poor baby. But we told her it was okay to be sad and cry, and that mommy and daddy would hold her and hug her as long as she needed us and she seems to find comfort in that. Amazing. I watched some horrible nanny on Nanny 911 take paci's away from a 3 and 4 year old and the parents left those poor babies to cry all night long. At least from the way they edited the show, it looked that way. I can't imagine doing that. The paci is a comfort mechanism. You can't take it away and not replace it with something else, namely and most healthily lots of hugs and cuddling. Moments like these make me wish we could do a family bed. Then no one would ever be alone!