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Jan. 26th, 2006
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Jan. 26th, 2006 08:46 pmI had such a little surge of joy just a moment ago as my children cheerful, willingly, cleaned up their mess and got ready for bed. This is how it went.
Mari and Zoe were drawing pictures at the table. They told me they were making birthday cards for Grandpa Chet (great-grandpa actually, Brad's grandpa). Luci drew a rainbow and this reminded her of her current favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz, and she asked to watch "over the rainbow". That is what she is doing now. I gave the other two girls a 10 minute "warning" for cleanup and bedtime, then a five minute one. When the time came I told them to clean up and they very cheerfully set about doing that while chattering away and telling me about their cards. Everything was cleaned up in record time and they went to get their jammies on without a protest, still chattering. Then they brushed their teeth, still chattering. (Zoe, when I explained for the zillionth time that she was to swish the water in her mouth and not swallow it after brushing said "Grandma Laura told me that too. But then she let me swallow it the next time. Wasn't that a nice grandma?" For some odd reason this little story struck me as hilarious.) Both girls skipped into the playroom and helped daddy who was picking up their blocks. Then they picked out books and very politely, without demanding, asked daddy to read to them instead of mommy tonight. And now they are upstairs reading with daddy, again without protest or complaint. Luci is still watching her movie and will probably fall asleep doing that...which is fine.
If you knew our household you would understand what a miraculous thing this is. Our worst time of day is bedtime. I have never successfully gotten a routine going that consistantly avoided tantrums at bedtime. Zoe has always hated bedtimes. Sometimes I've been terrified that was because I did something wrong when she was tiny and I didn't know about "attachment parenting" or as I've begun to like calling it "mothering". Heh. But really, I think it is just her personality and her difficulty with transistions. She doesn't like getting ready to go out the door, or washing her hands for meals. Usually it is all about the transition for her. And Luci just never wants to sleep and seems to need less than I would normally expect from a three year old. Anyway, bedtimes have always been tough around here and I've always struggled with the best way to handle it. Brad and I NEED some downtime, some together time and the only way to get that on a consistant basis to get the kids in bed before we go to bed, which didn't work most of the time. Until recently. Luci still goes to bed closer to when we do. The big girls don't seem bothered by this. They enjoy the peaceful bedtime that has gradually and miraculously grown over time here. I'm so thankful for that. I think, next time around, if there is a next time, I will be able to be a lot more patient, because I know, eventually, with consistancy and gentlenss and teaching, everything will fall into place. The first time you do something, when you are just learning how to do something, it seems to take forever. But after that...well, I just think it will be easier next time. Not because we won't have all the same issues with any other children we bring into the family, but I think we will be less stressed about it...having actually internalized the thought that "this too shall pass". Probably before we are ready for it.
Mari and Zoe were drawing pictures at the table. They told me they were making birthday cards for Grandpa Chet (great-grandpa actually, Brad's grandpa). Luci drew a rainbow and this reminded her of her current favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz, and she asked to watch "over the rainbow". That is what she is doing now. I gave the other two girls a 10 minute "warning" for cleanup and bedtime, then a five minute one. When the time came I told them to clean up and they very cheerfully set about doing that while chattering away and telling me about their cards. Everything was cleaned up in record time and they went to get their jammies on without a protest, still chattering. Then they brushed their teeth, still chattering. (Zoe, when I explained for the zillionth time that she was to swish the water in her mouth and not swallow it after brushing said "Grandma Laura told me that too. But then she let me swallow it the next time. Wasn't that a nice grandma?" For some odd reason this little story struck me as hilarious.) Both girls skipped into the playroom and helped daddy who was picking up their blocks. Then they picked out books and very politely, without demanding, asked daddy to read to them instead of mommy tonight. And now they are upstairs reading with daddy, again without protest or complaint. Luci is still watching her movie and will probably fall asleep doing that...which is fine.
If you knew our household you would understand what a miraculous thing this is. Our worst time of day is bedtime. I have never successfully gotten a routine going that consistantly avoided tantrums at bedtime. Zoe has always hated bedtimes. Sometimes I've been terrified that was because I did something wrong when she was tiny and I didn't know about "attachment parenting" or as I've begun to like calling it "mothering". Heh. But really, I think it is just her personality and her difficulty with transistions. She doesn't like getting ready to go out the door, or washing her hands for meals. Usually it is all about the transition for her. And Luci just never wants to sleep and seems to need less than I would normally expect from a three year old. Anyway, bedtimes have always been tough around here and I've always struggled with the best way to handle it. Brad and I NEED some downtime, some together time and the only way to get that on a consistant basis to get the kids in bed before we go to bed, which didn't work most of the time. Until recently. Luci still goes to bed closer to when we do. The big girls don't seem bothered by this. They enjoy the peaceful bedtime that has gradually and miraculously grown over time here. I'm so thankful for that. I think, next time around, if there is a next time, I will be able to be a lot more patient, because I know, eventually, with consistancy and gentlenss and teaching, everything will fall into place. The first time you do something, when you are just learning how to do something, it seems to take forever. But after that...well, I just think it will be easier next time. Not because we won't have all the same issues with any other children we bring into the family, but I think we will be less stressed about it...having actually internalized the thought that "this too shall pass". Probably before we are ready for it.