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Shamelessly begging for comments...
Sep. 29th, 2005 12:39 pm...even if it is just a smiley face or a hug. I could use them today.
There is a lot going on in my head lately. I have major anxiety today and I know it is paritally due the massive doses of painkiller I took this morning because I did not and do not have time for the change of weather induced headache I woke up with. Exedrine often makes me anxious. I'm not used to caffeine at that level or something. But I think I'm also little hormonal.
Jesse's (our dog) accidents seem to be a symptom of a bigger problem. She peed on the floor yesterday four of five times, something she has not done for years. And I noticed blood in the urine late in the evening. I hope it is just an infection and not a sign of some other illness. And that she isn't losing bladder control or something. She is nine years old now. Getting on in years for a larger breed dog (she is a lab mix, about 60lbs) so I know things are going to start going wrong. It is still hard to watch it happen. I have an appointment for her this afternoon. Feeling a lot of anxiety about that.
Mari's preschool had an open house this morning, so Zoe and Luci and I all went and hung out with her for an hour. We had snack with her, did a craft profect, and then she showed the girls some of her favorite play areas. They ended up spending most of the time in the house play area. It was fun to watch Mari "show off" a little.
After we left the open house, there was only an hour until time to bring Mari home, so I took the other two girls to the big playground on the base. Zoe settled down in the huge sand box area. Sand play is her favorite outdoor activity I think. She worked quite diligently for about fifteen minutes solid on a little garden. She piled up the sand to make a hill, found lots of dried leaves and stick and rocks and stuck them in the sand. She had them very neatly arranged, using the rocks to make paths between the "gardens" of sticks and leaves. I was entranced watching her. Suddenly I noticed that there were about four or five other kids about her age standing around her watching her too. Without warning several of them began trying to "help" her by putting handfuls of sand on top of her gardens and moving things around. Zoe was very polite. She said "Please, I want to do this by myself" several times and then she started saying "Please stop! Don't mess it up! I made this!" in an anxious but not ugly voice. The kids ignored her and started getting rambuctious and pretty soon, before I could get to them, they had destroyed the whole thing and were happily stomping all over it. Zoe's poor face just crumpled and tears were pouring down her face before she even made a sound. The kids were moving off, so I tried to show her that we could make it again, but as soon as we got started several of the kids came back and started destroying it again! I asked them to stop, looking around for their parents which were no where to be found. It really made me angry. Where were these kids parents? I didn't know what to do, honestly. I had asked the kids to stop several times, even moved Zoe to a different part of the sand box and they just followed us. I finally just told Zoe it was time to go. I was almost crying myself over her grief. This is why I have such a hard time socializing with the girls. Stuff like this seems to happen a lot. I don't know what is okay to say to another person's child and what is not. Whether I should try to find a child's parents and "tell" on them or not. Do other people have this problem? And why am I *always* the only parent even watching the kids!!
Yeah, so. Lots of anxiety there.
There is a lot going on in my head lately. I have major anxiety today and I know it is paritally due the massive doses of painkiller I took this morning because I did not and do not have time for the change of weather induced headache I woke up with. Exedrine often makes me anxious. I'm not used to caffeine at that level or something. But I think I'm also little hormonal.
Jesse's (our dog) accidents seem to be a symptom of a bigger problem. She peed on the floor yesterday four of five times, something she has not done for years. And I noticed blood in the urine late in the evening. I hope it is just an infection and not a sign of some other illness. And that she isn't losing bladder control or something. She is nine years old now. Getting on in years for a larger breed dog (she is a lab mix, about 60lbs) so I know things are going to start going wrong. It is still hard to watch it happen. I have an appointment for her this afternoon. Feeling a lot of anxiety about that.
Mari's preschool had an open house this morning, so Zoe and Luci and I all went and hung out with her for an hour. We had snack with her, did a craft profect, and then she showed the girls some of her favorite play areas. They ended up spending most of the time in the house play area. It was fun to watch Mari "show off" a little.
After we left the open house, there was only an hour until time to bring Mari home, so I took the other two girls to the big playground on the base. Zoe settled down in the huge sand box area. Sand play is her favorite outdoor activity I think. She worked quite diligently for about fifteen minutes solid on a little garden. She piled up the sand to make a hill, found lots of dried leaves and stick and rocks and stuck them in the sand. She had them very neatly arranged, using the rocks to make paths between the "gardens" of sticks and leaves. I was entranced watching her. Suddenly I noticed that there were about four or five other kids about her age standing around her watching her too. Without warning several of them began trying to "help" her by putting handfuls of sand on top of her gardens and moving things around. Zoe was very polite. She said "Please, I want to do this by myself" several times and then she started saying "Please stop! Don't mess it up! I made this!" in an anxious but not ugly voice. The kids ignored her and started getting rambuctious and pretty soon, before I could get to them, they had destroyed the whole thing and were happily stomping all over it. Zoe's poor face just crumpled and tears were pouring down her face before she even made a sound. The kids were moving off, so I tried to show her that we could make it again, but as soon as we got started several of the kids came back and started destroying it again! I asked them to stop, looking around for their parents which were no where to be found. It really made me angry. Where were these kids parents? I didn't know what to do, honestly. I had asked the kids to stop several times, even moved Zoe to a different part of the sand box and they just followed us. I finally just told Zoe it was time to go. I was almost crying myself over her grief. This is why I have such a hard time socializing with the girls. Stuff like this seems to happen a lot. I don't know what is okay to say to another person's child and what is not. Whether I should try to find a child's parents and "tell" on them or not. Do other people have this problem? And why am I *always* the only parent even watching the kids!!
Yeah, so. Lots of anxiety there.
