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I spent some time shopping for Maria's 1/2 B-day party tonight. She came along and helped.

I've managed to avoid the Disney princess thing so far...but I don't think I'm going to make it on the cake. I offered to make her a "princess" cake, you know the doll with the skirt as the cake thingy? She thought it was nice, but told me what she really wants is a "flat cake with lots of roses and stuff on it and in the middle a prince and princess dancing together." I must admit to feeling a wee bit uncomfortable with that. Why is MY princess dreaming of PRINCES at six and a half? Recently she has been somewhat obsessed with having some boy dolls "to be the princes". I broke down and let her get a Ken doll some time ago to go with her Disney princess barbie-type dolls. I really didn't like it. Please tell me this is innocent. Convince me it is okay for her to have a prince and princess dancing on her cake. If I say no I'll have to explain why and give her a complex about mysterious "grown up" stuff she isn't ready for and shouldn't even be thinking about yet. ARG!

Anyhoo...we are going to decorate in pink, purple, and yellow. Lot of froo froo. We will have tea party style thing, using my real china. The girls will start out decorating princess crowns and foam picture frames with jewels and glitter glue. We'll take a pic of them all together as soon as everyone is here and then Brad is going to print out a pic for each of the girls and we'll put them in the frames before they leave. During the crafts, we'll have a makeup and nail polish table set up too. Then we'll have our tea party and then open gifts. That should easily eat up the two hours I set for the party. The goodie bags will then contain the crown they each made, the frame with picture, and a small blingy princesss pad of paper and pencil Maria thought was cool. Is that enough for favors? Is it okay to include the crafts as favors? Do I need to put in some candy or something? I was hoping to avoid candy.

I hope this goes okay. This is our first strictly "kid" party. I'm not feeling very confident about it.

Date: 2007-06-27 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moobabe.livejournal.com
I don't think you need to include candy. Personally, I don't even do goodie bags, but when I get them, I'd so much rather have no candy.

Date: 2007-06-27 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-irish-lass.livejournal.com
I like to include a small pack of trail mix, but only if you know no one has peanut allergies. That's my way of getting around candy, although I usually do include a piece or two.

I'm pretty sure that it's completely normal for her to be play-acting grown-up stuff like romance and marriage. I did very much at that age, as did pretty much every other little girl I've known, at least to some degree :). And also, it's a normal "stage" in child psychology. It's a good thing, actually. At this point, her knowledge of what "grown-ups" are is pretty limited to your marriage. So it's natural she'd act that out. It doesn't mean anything icky or sexual necessarily, just working out and exploring what it means to be grown-up.

Date: 2007-06-27 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greatestislove.livejournal.com
soounds fine to me

i wanna come

Date: 2007-06-27 01:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kare43.livejournal.com
The party ideas sound great! I have only ever done one "kids" party, and that was with help from my mom and a few other ladies. I can understand feeling a bit anxious about it. But I'm sure it will be a lot of fun!

My oldest daughter has always been into animals and out-doors things and games and competition. Then my second came along and loved pink and purple and princesses and watching movies. And sometimes it is tempting to think that Ruth has more "interesting" interests than Miriam does, that the princess thing is just stereotypical girl stuff and that she is just being influenced by all the media around her. But I see the differences in their personalities and I realize that their interests really do flow from who they are. Miriam needs to be affirmed for who she is. She needs to know she is beautiful and special and cherished in a different way than Ruth. She needs to know, in a sense, that she is my "princess", not because she's accomplished something but just because of who she is.

I think that is something that a little girl like my Miriam would see in a prince and princess story. It's not about boys for her. In fact, she will tell me that she likes girls better than boys. But it is about feeling loved, and beautiful and special to someone, especially right now, to her daddy.

So I really don't see a problem with playing with princes and princesses. But that's just my thought, and I also really think that if you are uncomfortable with it and see that it's influencing her badly, than it's fine to explain that to her in a simple way. You know what is best for her.

Ruth loves penguins and really enjoyed the movie Happy Feet. But there is a lot of stuff in that movie that I really object to and don't want that influence on my kids. So I had to explain to her why we won't buy that movie for us to own. I was really nervous about it and a bit sad because I knew she really wants to see the movie again. But I am responsible for her and cannot in good conscience allow something that will be a negative influence in her life, even if she doesn't understand that.

Anyway, that was a really long winded comment. Sorry about that. I think I'm just trying to say that I hear what you're saying, both about the party and the prince/princess thing. I empathize. And it is a hard balance to both appreciate their personalities and interests and, at the same time, to influence them in positive ways and protect them from harmful influences.

Date: 2007-06-27 02:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lizziebennet.livejournal.com
I think it's normal, the prince and princess stuff. It's all about pretty dresses, and someone thinking you're pretty/liking you. Unless they are exposed to way inappropriate things, which Maria isn't, kids that age aren't thinking about it as a sexual thing, that doesn't occur to them. They don't even think about it realistically, it's just a "pretty things, fairy tale" thing. I agree with the above comments, that it's a good thing, and a normal thing.

I guess I do think there is *some* minimal negative stuff in actual Disney things, but the concept? Been around for a long time, and I think innocuous in a balanced context.

Date: 2007-06-29 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pikefish.livejournal.com
has she been watching any princess movies lately? or reading princess books? where there is a prince? I think of Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast (I don't think he was a prince tho-- and those are old examples-- I don't even know what it out there now). yea, I wouldn't worry

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